Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as CNN 5.0, FOOTBALL 3.0 and POLITICS 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running …

Question: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
Answer: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Question: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
Answer: Yes, your bladder.
Question: When is the best time to get an epidural?
Answer: Right after you find out your pregnant.
Question: Does labor cause hemorrhoids?
Answer: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for.
Question: Where is the best place to store breast milk?
Answer: In your breasts.
Question: Is there a safe alternative …